At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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