He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
