I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
