Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
