So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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