Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Floor bacon is actually really good
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
