we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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