Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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