So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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