my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
