theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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