Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
