oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
