Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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