i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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