dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
