i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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