That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
