Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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