road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
