I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
