Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
