sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
