come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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