what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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