it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
