Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
