Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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