that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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