Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
