because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
