I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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