I just saw a hot homeless man
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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