Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
