yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
