somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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