I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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