Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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