in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
