I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
