Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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