STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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