Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
