Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
