I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
