Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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