The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
