Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
