Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
