I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
