Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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